Weird Dreams

I'm pretty much the queen of weird dreams. My entire life they have been so vivid that I can wake up and remember nearly every detail of any scenario that happened.  My dreams have almost always involved some sort of water (river, lake, boat, ocean, flood, pool) accompanied by a high speed chase, stabbing, fight, or murder scene.  It's like I'm watching an action movie. Maybe this is why I mostly perfer chick flicks?

Anyhow, I thought I'd share a few of my recurring pregnancy dreams.

1) I'm on a boat! A rusty fishing boat on the river in downtown Nashville outside of Prince's Hot Chicken Shack {a walk-up hot chicken wing restaurant that is supposed to be delicious located in the ghetto}where a Sigma Kappa - Alpha Gamma Rho mixer has been going on. A fat DZ with prettier acrylic nails than me attacks me because I am pregnant and pregnant girls should not be at mixers.  I try to get away on the rusty fishing boat with a paddle, but it starts raining and the river is choppy.  The boat flips but my belly helps me float. A bunch of pledges are pointing and laughing at me as they fly by on their cigar boats. I'm terrified and I try swimming back to the dock at the Chicken Shack as huge fish start to chase me. I make it to the dock. Thugs drive up in hoopties and have a shoot out.  They are some of my former students from PCHS. I'm in the middle, and I try to get away on the rusty fishing boat again.

2) I'm in labor. I'm terrified that my girl is actually going to be a boy. I'm terrified of back labor. It hurts SO bad. I push and push and then this head pops out, face up.  The nurse tells me to look down and it's JON's head wearing a blue bonnet staring straight back up at me.  Full grown man, facial hair and all.  I keep saying 'No! No! I'm having a girl!' and I starting screaming because I didn't want a boy {and because there is a man's head coming out of my who-ha.}. Of course I can see the ocean from my hospital room window while my nightmare continues to pursue inside.

3) Breastfeeding. I keep trying to nurse my little girl on my left breast. She keeps falling asleep and wont eat.  I shake her- well, jiggle her like we learned in our Bradley class- she barely opens her eyes, sucks once, and passes back out. I can't feed her, but I keep lactating everywhere. Ick. I try to make her drink water, but she wont take that either.

4) Obese baby. I keep dreaming that my baby comes out and she is exactly 10 pounds 1 ounce. Please, God, don't let my baby be that big. My stuff might not recover.

5) Oregon. My entire family is in Oregon for my cousin's wedding. He and Tiffany are getting married on an island in the middle of the Hood River that can only be reached by boat. There is not enough room on the boat for all 30 of my immediate family members. Baby & me get ousted. They put us on a tube and tie us to the back of the boat. I'm desperately trying to hang on (in my formal wedding clothes) and keep my baby from drowning. Then we get chased by a bigger faster boat who has mistaken us for drug smugglers. The rope breaks and off goes my family to the wedding. I'm left to fight off the drug lords on an intertube with an infant in the middle of the Hood River. Oh, and there are big fish with sharp teeth everywhere!

Crazy, huh?